His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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