i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
