I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
