This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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