woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
