is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
