I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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