i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
this will be a night to untag.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
