Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Farmville is her only friend.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
