Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
