Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
