I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
