He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
