can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
