Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
