giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
