I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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