come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
