someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize