All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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