he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
