The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
