We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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