No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You were trust falling into bushes
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
