did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
