If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
