Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
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