So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
