wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
