Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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