I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
