There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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