i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
