Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
