dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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