i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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