Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
