Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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