Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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