you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
