i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
