we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
