Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
