I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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