I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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