Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
