Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
