I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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