REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
