If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I think my fart just growled at me.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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