Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
