you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
smell my finger.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
