when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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