wakey wakey hands off snakey
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
