I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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