She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
