we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
