like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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